Adventures with "TGS"

First, let's explain the title. "TGS", for the cool people who watch "30 Rock" (and if you don't watch it, you should.) stands for The Girlie Show. Crazy antics, witty banter, and ridiculousness beyond explanation about sum it up.  Since, Katy Evans, is the one who introduced me to the awesomeness that is "30 Rock" (again, watch this show) I figured it was only fitting that this name now be used for the story of our weekend.

So for all intents and purposes, The Girlie Show, or TGS, now refers to Me, Katy, and her 18 month old daughter, Ginger.

So, Friday's Adventure with TGS:

For a much needed Mommy break, I suggested Katy drop Ginger off for childcare and we could do lunch and pedicures. Drop off and lunch went great. We were off to a good start. Then came time to find a place to get pedicures.

First, we went to Downtown New Bern, but that salon couldn't take us. The one person who actually did pedicures there had just left. The receptionist even called her to see if she could come back. She would've, but we didn't have time to wait.

We went back to the salon by the childcare place. The sign outside asked that pets not come inside. (Really? Who brings a dog to a salon for humans?) Upon walking in, there were pictures of dogs everywhere in this place. Well, not dogs plural, but one specific dog actually. A painting, and three huge pop art canvases. And then, at presumably the feet of the owner of the salon, was the actual dog. A chihuahua. (I thought dogs were not allowed here?) Already an interesting place, two girls came up to help us. They couldn't take us either. But quietly one of the girls whispers (insert southern accent here) "If I can't get my nails done here, I like to go to the place across the street. They're Asian, but they're not allowed to speak Asian there."

So now that we knew Asian was a language you could speak, we decided to try our luck over there. This is how it went:

Asian Man 1: "How we help you ladies today?"
Us: "We'd like to get pedicures"
Asian Man 1: "Ok, go pick out you colors"

Normal right?
Wrong.

Asian Man 1sits down to give my pedicure.
Asian Man 2 sits down to give Katy's pedicure.
Why do men work at these places? It's very awkward.

So the men get to work and start talking to us. Then Asian Man 1 cuts my toe! Ouch! Asian Man 2 rolls his eyes (and continues to roll his eyes at Asian Man 1 for the remainder of our hour there). I probably should have stopped the pedicure right there and stormed out. A braver me would have. But I really wanted a pedicure. So we continued.

Asian Man 1: "Lots of ladies like to get the exfoliating treament. Make legs sexy for da weekend"
Me (to Katy): "I'm going to be sexy for you tonight." (insert joking wink here)
Asian Man 1 (to Katy) : "You welcome" (insert not so joking wink here)
Asian Man 1: "So how long you be friens?"
Me: "Oh about five years"
Asian Man 1: "Oh, I be wit my baby mama that lon too. I need to drop her. She have anger prolems. Very angwy. Too much stress. I need drop her."

Ummm, does he think Katy and I are "together"? And that we want to hear his baby mama drama? Oh, I guess he does think that.

The conversation continues about picking his kids up from school, his motorcycle, and well, his motorcycle. Lots of talking about the motorcycle. He talked about it so much I actually dedicated an entire paragraph of this post just to talking about his motorcycle. His near brushes with death. How he loves to ride with the wind blowing in his hair. He is sad that school is starting back up again because he'll have less time to ride his motorcycle since he can't pick up his kids on the motorcycle. Not enough room for their backpacks. He is sad that it's going to rain Sunday because that also means he can't go ride his motorcycle on his day off. We then learn he's only had the motorcycle for three weeks. With all his stories you'd think he'd had it three years. He obviously thinks he's pretty cool, owning a motorcycle and all.

Asian Man 1 finishes up and starts working on his next client, a Ms. Eva. I wait for Asian Man 2 to finish with Katy's toes. Asian Man 1 and Asian Man 3 get to work on Ms. Eva and her friend.
And we get stuck listening as Asian Man 3 explains in detail to his client that he cannot drink even a fifth of vodka because then he'll want to get drunk. Asian Man 1 starts talking about clams from Pennsylvania? I look around. There are five men that work at this nail salon. Five. And one woman. At least on the day we are there. Big burly men too. Not at all the kind of men you would think you'd find doing nails for a living.

So, we pretty much got out of there as fast as we could. I bought neosporin at Target to avoid infection of my toe. And we learned our lesson: Do NOT under any circumstances try to get a pedicure in New Bern, NC.

The rest of our Girlie Show day was much better. Naptime for Ginger. Take out from Outback. And a movie from Redbox.

We needed to rest up for Saturday's TGS outing. The Beaufort Pirate Invasion!